On Photons moving both backwards and forwards in time and why it’s important for computer construction.

First we know that photons are elementary particles that function both as a wave or a particle at a certain time though not both at once.

We know that we want to use either or for the production of bits of information. Particles for individual computations and waves for larger computations if enough bits of information can be read correctly at the same time waves may be superior at the cost of space used to propagate an answer. A single wave offering massive functionality within a larger area though they can be condensed if you refract the waves up one the nuclei of the atoms within each other without cross sectioning each other—though that may also be useful as an additional functionary device within the function schema. Perhaps if they cross they mean they multiple or if they don’t they remain untouched. If they interfere with an electron they divide. Something like that as a simple example. Individual particles get us exact answers over and over if read repeatedly. Very quickly and take little energy to wave reading unless you collapse a wave function into a rotational amount feasibly readable as though they were particles. You don’t need waves to read waves if you’re looking to collect specific bits of data Just sets of particles to oscillate and deform the readable wave function. You do need if you want a single read of an entire function in a go in one mass deformation. So you build a function map using all types of functions you might possibly want around in such a way that the photons moving both backwards and forwards/sideways in time have a chance to interact with the system. What you may be reading isn’t in fact the current set of photons but photons from the past passing through the system in reverse but since the male is segmented so that it repeats itself at various angles/degrees it may not matter. But you would know this by first placing it in the center of a room and bombarding it with photons and seeing which side lit up first. My understanding is that there are four positions from Feynman’s research a photon travels based on their delivery.

So eventually we get good enough at bouncing these waves and particles of photons throughout the system of lattices to get multiple answers at once Multiplied by the number of deformation levels we want (each wave particle is computer generated to deform through the run systematically causing little to no error outside of the lasers need to be on the best gimbal possible). The thing about setting up a function map physically is that you can pick and choose which bits you want read from the read direction. But anyway we get good enough we get down to the gluon method using QCD which has eight methods of propagation. And that’s when we start bouncing gluons off of quarks in much the same method reducing the size exponentially further but in much the same manner. Then the real fun begins.


Drawing with Jordan. S.A.M. from Cannon Busters. How to Make Light Based Computers. Black/White Hole Travel. My Sleeping Habits. The Whole Shebang.


So I wanted to try drawing someone else’s character for the first time and I chose S.A.M. from Cannon Busters because the show is pretty good even though I’m only a few episodes in. I used someone else’s piece as reference and did my best to draw as I saw how it looked to me to improve my eye as well as get something added to the channel that wasn’t just dull Loomis videos where I draw heads oddly, haha.

The goal was just to get a drawing done and see how well I’d done in regards to the original. But I made the mistake of looking for other references while I was working and lost the original that I had planned on comparing my work to. One sec let me see if I can find it again.

Here it is!

from Blerd.com.

You can see that I made a myriad of mistakes while I was working on it. The face is too v like, not enough cheek fat in the composition. The eyes are the wrong colour. I love that there are gears in her eyes. It’s just a solid nice touch that goes to show how much design work went into her character creation and the creation of the show on the whole.

In fact lets pull in my version and do a comparison so that I may learn from my mistakes.

Youtube Banner 2

This is the thumbnail from the youtube video as you can probably already tell.

So right off the bat we’ve got the fore mentioned jawline issues. We’ve got highlights where mine would reflect like they were more off of metallic surfaces rather than hair–if you see how they do theirs they use “z”‘s of light to so differing heights and shapes of hair.
I forgot the highlights on the gold. That wasn’t so obvious to me at the time. I remembered to do the shading of the ears and earrings under the hair.  The line work is also much nicer. Leaner I would think.

You’ll see that my hair extends farther back that I only got from showing myself other drawings of her and that includes how her crown lies in her hair. I find cheek fat absolutely the hardest thing to get right at the moment. I’m sure once I get it down my drawings will improve dramatically and they won’t look so anorexic or as though they were created from the eighties and nineties like Shin Chan and the like.

I also got the lighting on the jacket backwards. Why would the large amount of hair reflect light and then shade the jacket? Because in my head that made sense. What I wasn’t expecting was that her hair itself threw shadow behind it.

Then there’s the skin colour, and if I had the image with me I could have just pulled from that and thrown them on top of the job, but learning colour recognition is a huge deal in painting and a super useful skill when you need it when mixing the slight gradients needed for skin tone and what’s in the foreground and background–at least with my accounts with black and white airbrushing.

I would love to be able to do character turn-arounds but I’m honestly freaked out about them for some reason. Artists worry I suppose. At least it’s not artists block, which I don’t seem to suffer too badly from, I just change whatever it is I’m working on into a new subject and move on for the most part. I’m sure that’ll come back to bite me at some point.

For the video I also made the mistake of using my Loomis setup because I don’t know how to set up a second account using Streamlabs OBS which has been by far the easiest way to get going on starting with the software. The older OBS just throws me for a loop.

Oh man, if you watch the video, you’ll see how much trouble I had with the lips. I had to remember that there’s a V in the upper join of the sides of the upper lip and that took me forever to remember.

Am I happy with what I’ve done so far with it? No of course not. I can do so much better, I just have to have patience and unlock the ability within myself to get going at a real pace. If you’re never happy with your work it always pushes you to create new and thoughtful devices and that may as well be the case with most things because liking everything you do and not realising it needs improvements is, I think, vastly greater of an error than thinking the other way.

For a first attempt it is what it is–something to be done with and to look on with an eye to improve.

If you’ve read this far, please let me know what characters or real life people you would like to see and in what style. I haven’t done a sharpie piece in forever and wouldn’t mind trying my hand at it again now that my tremor is manageable once again.

*Had a dinner break and watched some more of the show.
Apparently I can’t type and think clearly when multiple people are chattering in my ear, I wonder why-haha.

Holy crap I got my first youtube comment and it was positive. That made my night. They recommended another youtuber so I subscribed and thanked them for their comment.

I’ve got to fill out another thousand or so words, so I figured I might as well tell you about my day.

As you may have known already I haven’t been sleeping–or that really, I’ve been sleeping oddly, waking up at 1 a.m. and then 3 a.m. each morning, and choosing whether to get up and do stuff then or not. It’s usually a sign on my mania being present so I’ve been given Klonopin and Hydroxizine to alleviate the mania and usually it helps but some days I’m sleeping until 1-6 p.m. and then getting on with my day. It’s not really letting me get a schedule going with this sort of thing, as you’re meant to do which I apologize for immensely.

As it is I’m trying to find new music to listen to, and Jon Bellion is doing it for me as the song JT fits my illness just a little too well. The problem with being a paranoid schizoaffective is that when you believe something silly it’s is absolutely real to you and it’ll last months or years before you’re able to break away from the feeling that the illness brings along with it. It’s so strong still that I had to put the song on.

It’s shit like that that makes life harder than it needs to be because even if you have a rational thought process or come up with something novel because you have this terrible illness you’re considered less than and it just feels like why do it then. Why try to help people when you can sit on a farm vertical farming waiting for the collapse that’s coming.

Not to mention that the Ill Mind of Hopsin V is great if you’re in a grumpy mood. He just flows his mind as a true lyricist would which I have massive respect for.

Just under 800 words left. What else shall we talk about?
Have you ever thought about how to manipulate black holes using white holes to create black hole parabolas which you can “stretch” around an area of space and or a ship if you like, and then do that again to the space outside, and keep repeating it until you get to the point that the ship travels towards the front of the empty space as its forcing movement inside the canister, and you release the outer shell forcing outside movement, all the way to the inner shell and you’ll get near light speed travel as the shells release. The only problem is that you need a clear path to travel so turning is done in stages rather than in one straight shot through the spacescape.  It’s just a matter of making enough shells so that you get an acceleration that’s bearable and a deacceleration that doesn’t destroy its landing area or the people inside the ship. You would reinforce the ships hull to take the pressures of the controlled black holes. How do you control a black hole you ask?

With a white hole. Which is just an electron density field as a white hole is something that lets electrons and light out but nothing may pass inside into it. If my tags take off and work, or if I’m ever given the chance to really make something worthwhile like that instead of just twiddling my mental thumbs I already have plans to design ships that may travel in such a manner and they’re gorgeous. The way the light arc lens curves at the front of the ship is utterly beautiful to think about. This is the sort of shit I think about when I can’t sleep. Not just how they might work but actually ways of getting them working the way I think they should so that if anyone in power ever asked me to get things made I would be able to get things sorted in some manner, but I doubt that will ever happen now. Apparently I pissed everyone off and that means you live a life of sickness.

Just over 400 words left. Lets get there.

I’ve had this idea for a light based computer where you bounce a L.I.G.O level laser off of the neutrons or protons off of a suitable atom–say silicon since they have the same number of each and they’re considered your yes or no functions based on their refraction-the only thing you have to worry about is increasing the speed of the spin of the atom while you get it up to “read” speed where the laser can’t increase it’s speed any faster and you’re getting reliable yes/no information based on the refraction rates. These refractional rays are bounced to a crystal array that offers itself as a mathematical operational method. The issue is do we define the crystals 1 array deep or more depending on whether you want it to count for more processes or processing time dependent on build. Then you would “read” the crystals output from above/(some open side) the crystal array and make the lasers hit each other and read the temperature of the crystal or change in lights frequency (if you used more than one light type) and that’s your bit of data as a full mathematical function. It means you can just bounce longer lasers through longer crystals refracting from atom to atom and make functions and read the answer at the end. It may be faster than quantum computing but I have no idea honestly, I’m still learning about that. I just know it would travel at the speed of light and involve very few atoms and that’s pretty damn quick. You would have to account for Feynmens issue of protons going multiple directions but that just means to be consistent you build the buffer system into the “computer” so that it hits where each proton is meant to hit, and if we have to multi slit it to get it to function that can be done inherently within the crystal structure because all we need is some readable data, not all of it. Unless that data somehow alters the outcome of the answer of course. We’re looking for read data, not read all the data at data read cap at the moment. That can come with initial improvements.

Thirty nine words to go.
I wonder what would happen to the man if he realised that reality was a joke played on him, sat down, and began to write his own punchlines to the subculture’s own development. Knowledge.


Learning a bit of perspective.

Learning Portrait 27 8.9.19Learning Portrait 28 8.9.19Learning Portrait 29 8.9.19Learning Portrait 30 8.9.19


Today so far has been learning about foreshortening and above and below perspectives. These are my attempts as I followed along MikeyMegaMega here. Who, other than a fascination with large breasted women from the videos I watched, was extremely insightful about his technique and made it a breeze to get into it straight away and since I had been starring at a man make huge tits for an hour I decided to try a small nude, which I don’t normally do.

I’ve had a tough couple of days as I missed my chance to go to Vegas to see my younger brother perhaps for the last time before I move home back to New Zealand. It depends whether we’re up here for the holidays of not but if I am he said he would visit and that’s a great feeling. I just made him his birthday present but haven’t told him what it is yet.


lenin shirt

I hope he likes it. I make a little bit of money selling stickers and shirts per month that once in a while I get to treat myself to a new hat or shirt or shoes through paypal. So I made and bought him this with that money. It’s Lenin in Communist colours. He commissioned me to a painting of it but it won’t be done in time so I decided he might want to wear the art instead of just looking at it. I love wearing my own designs over corporate logos and fandom pieces because it makes me feel unique and just a minor designer at heart.

I’ve been upped on prazosin for ptsd nightmares. Childhood-adult abuse isn’t a joke. Now I take two or three mgs a day–I’m not sure. I forget honestly. I’ve got 19 bottles of meds to look at tonight and I can’t even remember if I took this mornings meds. I just know I’m sleeping until twelve most days after waking to feed the girls.

I had an interesting conversation with my psych though. Apparently only seeing one person once or twice per week isn’t a whole lot of human contact and isn’t healthy but I don’t know how to remedy that when I have so little money.

I have a mensa membership so I thought I might do the breakfast with them and see what they’re like. I wasn’t a huge fan of them when I joined the first time. I got a perfect score on my I.Q. battery and they were still condescending. I broke the damned test so it couldn’t give a proper reading by maxing it out and they’re like there’s only one score that qualifies you for the coveted membership. I do like the card though. Makes you feel like a triple A member.

Oh on some good news I’m down almost three pounds and if it keeps going I may be able to go on a mild stimulant to help me stop binge eating when I feel like punishing myself.

Okay this is completely random. But I designed a new type of (I think–information is hard to come by through wikipedia and theses) nuclear reactor using single domain micromagnetics using hexaferrum eplison ferrite steel. Basically you compress the ferrite until it change atomic structure and it gains addition atoms which is where the radioactivity comes from. Plus because its a magnetic material if you surround it by pyrolytic carbon (which repels both poles equally) you’ll get forced movement, so you get the spin needed to traverse graphene wiring to gather energy like a regular generator, but these are as small as physically possible so you could replace battery and be scaled up to any size to produce any amount. You just need vastly more pco than rotational material. You can also coat it in SiO4 (quartz) to keep it contained and warmer in space travel/durable.

But all you need is 13 GPa to compress the ferrite into hexaferrum, carbon has a GPa rating of 26 and you us diamond toppers and stoppers on the bottom and they have a rating of 542 GPa so that the whole thing is contained. And the greatest thing is if the thing opens it reverts back to ferrite and loses it radioactivity very quickly meaning no/less chance for damage to the environment and the user.

I got so annoyed at people ignoring me that I put the chemical break down on a hat and wear it around town. So far no ones guess what it is, but it’ll be in the Asimov comic since the whole point of the comic is to expand on my designs.



I even sent what I had to Marc Gibson at Nasa but he ignored me since I’m self taught and could be wrong. Or perhaps scrapping his email wasn’t the way to go, haha. Who knows. Who cares.

The inner binding agent between the ferrite atoms are carbon. You may not be able to tell by the white squares but they a 12 phase or two 6 phase generators since you use both sides of the domain at once or you end up with single domain micromagnets over time as one side invariably breaks down before the other. This way they break down closer together if the half lives of the atoms is relatively closed (based on atom diameter/circumference).

Ugh I’m so bored. I wish to create to my potential.

Have a wonderful night.