I have no fricking idea what to work on; dealing with too many choices.

So I’m currently working on my first biomedical patent. I sent them a bunch of information this morning in fact. What’s left to do is grab my solidworks copy and create the final forms of the device and how they fit together-of which I’ve done one major part already of a menial few remaining. It’s the most important thing to be doing right now, but it comes in fits and starts. It doesn’t help I left some of my tech in Arizona and need to shipped back to me.

On another finger I’ve been suppose to be doing this 100 days of art dearie. I’m not thinking consecutive days or it’ll just be a grind by the end of it, but I think I need to make something today just for the hell of it. Plus Wacom has finally released the stand for the MobileStudio pro so I should get that in a day or so. I also ordered an airbrush pen so I can paint to my strengths once again after the initial learning curve is over.

So there’s that.

The other thing I’m working on is a book based on that Being an Asmovian subsect of text. I’m unsure how to go about it. For the last year or so I’ve been inventing various methods of different things in an attempt to save people from the incoming global warming, going as far as sending my works to NASA and the United Nations to be ignored, and have 20-22 current devices/methods to go over. I’m thinking I’ll write it like you’re reading from a terraformers perspective (who happens to be a multi disciplinary scientist–as I feel they may all well be to be adaptive enough to work together. They would be known as the hegemon (a nod to Ender). From there I would lay all of my works bare and see what takes. If nothing does perhaps it’ll be a doctrine of how not to write such a thing. I’m willing to give it a shot. So far the the name is For My Beloved. As only a person who plants trees for generations unknown would belove their fellow humanity, I attempt the same.

The problem I’m dealing with is anhedonia–a form of my illness with a length of lethargy delving towards suicidality that is most unpleasant. I think these blog posts are a ways to combat the feeling so I can ramp back into a manic phase where I’m useful once again. The only thing I wish were better were my maths skills as it relates to composure of inventiveness. I’m currently on Klonopin and I’ve been sleeping the days away breaking out of the slumber in fits of terror and ill mood–as I’m naturally prone to do due to the PTSD of decades of severe physical and other abuse. My therapist thinks my aggressors were legitimate psychos, and I tend to agree.

Anyway I’m off to do the dishes, and maybe eat something–and find something to paint for the day. Perhaps I’ll get to write instead. A simple 5,000 word day. Only a few hours work. A flip of a coin go we, right?

Have an excellent day, until I see you later on.

-J.

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